


Be A Man

by windsilk



Series: just don't close your heart [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Humor, sasuke isn't here for your toxic masculinity, what the hell did i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 01:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16985790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsilk/pseuds/windsilk
Summary: Sasuke doesn't want to wear the pants in their relationship. In fact, he's not even sure he can fit into his pants anymore, so there's no use in making the attempt.





	Be A Man

it began with a simple jibe from a simpleton.

“to be honest, it’s fucking hilarious that haruno–a tiny, tiny girl–can lift more than you. you ever feel your pussy growing in, uchiha?” this, from the jailer who brought her to him every afternoon.

sasuke was just inches away from being released from iron’s grasp. after spending some time traveling by his lonesome, he found himself around the border of a country that, no matter the peacetime agreement, no matter their neutral status, hated him.

probably always would hate him.

some wrongs couldn’t be undone.

he scoffed at the jailer but said nothing. sakura would be furious of he managed to muck up whatever progress she’d made.

the metal bench beneath him was cold, and a small part of him was grateful that at least the jailer was there. at least he had something to stave off the chill and the boredom.

“hm, uchiha? does it bother you that you’re the bitch in the relationship?”

sasuke’s lips thinned.

sakura had come upon hearing of his capture; she was among konoha’s diplomatic favorites, and knowing her, had probably badgered kakashi into letting her go. soft lipped, smooth, more cognizant of the little things, she was good for the job.

sakura could handle her own.

still, he couldn’t resist: “it seems that’s something we have in common, you and I.” he locked eyes with the jailer, and the man spat at him. the saliva made contact with his cheek, slippery and warm.

sasuke smirked at the small victory.  _too easy_.

–

-

-

sakura’s heels clacked down the hall toward his cell, and sasuke straightened from where he’d slumped against the wall. a tray of half eaten, congealed lunch lay to his left.

she turned the corner and came into view, keys jangling her her grasp. her smile was bright, but her eyes were tight around the corners. “time to go, sasuke-kun.”

he stood gracefully, stepping towards the door while she moseyed around the jailer, nonplussed by his presence. “thank you for your service, mato-san. mifune-san has told me to tell you to check in with him to return the keys before returning to your post.”

the three keys necessary to unlock the door slid in easily. the jailer looked disgruntled at receiving orders from a “tiny, tiny girl” but said nothing, and then sasuke was walking out of his cell of three weeks, free.

the silence was comfortable, and sakura maintained a good distance between as he, she, and the jailer walked up several flights of stairs and through many doors before emerging at the ground level.

the doors swung open easily, and they walked out of the side of a mountain. the air smelled like soot and snow. sakura waved as the jailer went on his way, and as soon as he was out of sight, closed the distance with a fierce hug. “are you okay? do you want to get food? maybe warmer clothes, too. mifune was a hard ass, but a trade deal for lumber was enough to soothe the wounds. I’m sorry I took so long. are you okay?”

he tightened his one arm around her waist, nuzzling her soft hair. had she changed her conditioner? she smelled different–more fruity, or maybe that was what was available wherever she’d been staying the past few weeks. “food first.”

she pulled away, running her hands down his arms. “you look malnourished. we’ll make a stop at the pharmacy, too. get your strength up.” she pressed her hands, healing chakra consuming them, to his chest. “you don’t have enough chakra to scale the slope,” she murmured, gesturing to the sheer drop directly between them and the small village below–presumably a deterrent for potential escapees. “piggy back?”

without waiting for his consent, she turned around, squatting a bit. he slid onto her back, inhaling at the skin by her ear, and she hoisted him up with ease. “food first,” he reminded.

she smiled. “food first.”

–

-

-

they ate in comfortable silence at a mostly empty barbecue restaurant, heat wafting up to their chilled faces from the grill. once she’d laid down enough bills to pay for their meal, they’d walked down the street to the pharmacy. sakura had leaned on the counter, bartering lower prices for her medicines.

“I know valerian isn’t in season here, but please. please, honoka-san? you know I’d never try to get one past you.”

apparently, sakura knew the woman’s son. this didn’t surprise sasuke one bit. sakura had a tendency to come across friendly faces in foreign places even though she had traveled far less than him.  

the woman’s iron country accent weighed heavily on her words. “ah, fine, fine. but only this once, sakura-san. I gotta make a livin’.”

she pushed a bag of small flowers across the counter, and sakura sighed with contentment. “thank you so much. I owe you one.”

“anythin’ else?”

“maybe some vitamin c? this one here has been malnourished for a few weeks, and I know that horrible flu is going around.”

the woman fumbled with several bottles on the shelf, and four or five fell across the edge at once, clattering on the unevenly tiled floor. “shoot. lemme just…” she crouched down, scooping them all up and depositing a bottle on the counter before shoving the rest back on the shelf unevenly “I’ll deal with that later,” she muttered.

sakura laughed. “I think I’m good! I have all the rest. thank you so much, honoka-san!”

as they walked away, paper bag rattling with pills, sakura patted his arm. “this’ll get you healthy and strong in no time.”

–

-

-

sakura brewed tea with valerian root in it every night to ensure that sasuke got a full, peaceful 8 hours of sleep. he took the vitamin c pills diligently, and she’d determinedly hid all the soldier pills from him so he wouldn’t overwork himself.

the journey back was slow as a result, but sasuke could say he undoubtedly felt stronger. he got better at catching fish, and when he bathed, he could have sworn he even looked significantly more muscular in the reflection of the river.

but then again, the water distorted things. with a dismissive splash, ripples erased his figure.

he clambered out of the river and dried himself with a threadbare towel, redressing and joining sakura back at their camp. dead leaves, brown and crisp, crunched under his feet as he wove through the trees.

he bypassed their protective genjutsu and took the last few steps to their campsite. she was curled up in the sleeping bag, book open in front of her, and glanced up from it with a reflexive smile.

“hi,” she breathed. 

he slid in beside her, his side pressed fully against her. their shared pillow compressed around his head, and he dragged a hand around her waist to tug her still closer. she shifted pliantly–was she lighter than before? he couldn’t tell. her cheeks flushed, and she dog-eared the page of her book before closing it.

when she was securely tucked under his chin, he replied. “hello.”

–

-

-

days passed as did the konoha gates. the news of the trade deal was brought to kakashi, who patted sakura on the head and gave her a few days of paid leave from the hospital. “sasuke needs tending to, does he not? I mean, just look at him.”

sasuke glanced down at himself, insulted.

sakura snorted. “yeah. you’re right. he looks just sad. he probably couldn’t even beat me in an arm wrestling match.”

sasuke frowned. “nobody can beat you in an arm wrestling match.”

she patted him on the cheek. “there, there. you tell yourself that.”

she and kakashi high fived with a chorus of giggles, and then sakura dragged sasuke out of the office, down the road, and back to his home. “go shower,” she instructed once he had unlocked the door. “you smell vaguely like prison.”

he sniffed his shoulder. “hm.”

“who knows? maybe I’ll join you,” she shrugged, walking away.

he stared at her back as she disappeared into his room and then wasted no time stalking to the bathroom, starting the water, stripping down, stepping into the hot shower. a few minutes later, the curtains slid aside and she slipped in beside him. 

she slapped a hand over her heart, mock-surprised. “oh! funny seeing you here!” 

he rolled his eyes and continued running shampoo through his hair.

“all business, I see,” she said as she reached across for the blue bar of soap. “I can help you out with that.” with a brisk lather of soap, she ran her hand down the center of his chest, lingering over his abs. she raised an eyebrow. “did you work out in jail?”

his brow furrowed, flashing back to the river reflection. “…no.”

she splayed her palm over his belly. “hmm. well, you look great. and I know I look great,” she said, sliding her other hand along her curves. he followed with his gaze and had to agree. “so everything is as it should be.”

he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and ducked down, slanting his lips against hers. “mmm.”

she laughed into the kiss. “mmm?”

his lips tugged up in a smile. “mmm.”

–

-

-

sakura woke up and turned lazily onto her side, expecting nothing much out of the day. sunlight dappled on her shoulder blades, and for all intents and purposes, that was how every good day began–with good weather and sasuke by her side.

instead, a scream forced itself past her lips with abandon. she scrambled backward, clapping a hand over her mouth. a brief laugh left her mouth as well–high pitched, disbelieving, and overwhelmed.

sasuke woke immediately, sharingan spinning. “what? what’s wrong?”

“you’re..you’re  _huge_.” 

he looked down. muscles bulged from beneath him–enormous pectorals, a giant set of rippling abs, and one and a half beefy arms–all leading up to his normal looking, but now woefully disproportionate legs.

“what the fuck?” he swallowed, and dawning comprehension came the longer he stared at himself. “sakura, I think it’s the pills. I think the pills you got me…made this.” he looked up at her, panicked.

she shook her head, disbelieving. “I gave you vitamin c, not some sort of…steroid drug cocktail!”

“sakura, the bottle doesn’t have a label. and that lady…she dropped all the bottles on the floor. she made me into this…beast.” 

sakura was unable to contain herself. she gasped, throwing her head back in incredulous laughter. he glowered, while she clutched her midsection, tears leaking from her eyes. “okay, well. well. okay. so. here’s what we’re going to do.” she sucked in a few breaths and stood from the bed, loose sweatpants just dangling on her hips. “can you fit through the door?”

–

-

-

the journey to the hospital was fraught with discreet snickers and shocked screeches from every villager they passed. the cloak she’d fashioned out of a dark blue blanket to drape over his massive shoulders did nothing to make him blend in.

“I’m like a giant pimple on the village’s face,” sasuke mumbled. 

sakura squeezed his enormous hand in her comparatively itty bitty one. the gesture was supposed to be comforting, but he barely felt it. “you know, it’s okay. if…whatever this is…if you stay like this forever, I’ll still love you.”

he moaned helplessly. “sakura, I’m a  _giant pimple.”_

she cracked a smile. “I think this might be the most vain you’ve ever been.” she paused, assessing him from out of the corner of her eye. “it makes you very huggable?” she offered. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but I have to say, this experience does have its benefits.”

he sighed, and she guided him as he walked through the hospital door, ducking his head and turning sideways to squeeze in. a nurse looked up from her paperwork, wide eyed.

“sakura-san?” 

sakura waved. “I’ll take care of it; don’t worry.”

sasuke scowled as she towed him down the hall. “it? I’m not an it.”

she smiled cheekily. “you just said you’re a pimple. pimples are its.”

they left the hospital hours later after blood work had been done, the diagnoisis had been made, and the treatment had been prescribed. it had been confirmed that, in fact, sakura  _had_ given him some steroid drug cocktail. she sighed, face pinched in regret.

“but at least now you can beat me in arm wrestling?” she said weakly.”for now, anyway. it’ll wear off in a few days, hopefully.”

sasuke sighed. “I don’t need to be the one with monstrous strength or the one that’s more capable. I didn’t ask for this.”

sakura laughed. “do you feel like you’ve finally become a man?”

he stared desolately at the sky as the meandered through emptier back roads to get back to his place. “I don’t want to be a man. I liked it when you were the man.” 

sakura pressed her lips together in mirthful laughter. “don’t worry, sasuke. you’ll never really be the man. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by buff!suke: http://khattriya.tumblr.com/post/131160279457/i-absolutely-love-how-buff-your-sasuke-is-can 
> 
> written 2 years ago


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